Parents, beware the emo kids

In following angsty fad, teens cut themselves and write about suicide


IF YOU have teenage kids and have not heard of the latest teen fad 'emo', it is time you looked it up.

Shops catering to teens say this angst-filled youth sub-culture, called emo, short for 'emotional', has been gathering a following here.

It has also left youth counsellors worried if the fad is behind the increasing incidence of teenagers cutting their wrists.

Emo fashion is characterised by teens wearing dark T-shirts, a little undersized or deliberately worn down to look old.

Their choice of sneakers is Converse canvas shoes. Look closer and these might have words like 'pain' scribbled in red ink or a drawing of a broken heart.

But the defining trademark for emo kids has to be the heavily lined eyes and long fringed hair which covers half their face.

The point of that, said emo teen Mervyn Lee, 17, a polytechnic student, is because 'we are tortured souls unable to face the world'.

Another tell-tale sign - they listen to angst-filled music from bands like Hawthorne Heights, Aiden, The Used, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, which performed here earlier this month.

Youth counsellors interviewed say they are worried that the fad, carried to extremes, can lead to self-mutilation or even suicidal thoughts.

As it is, some emo teens have penned poems about suicide and death and slashing their wrists to 'ease their pain'.

The trend may be behind the increased incidence of teenagers injuring themselves.

There have been no studies done on how prevalent self-injury is, but five youth counsellors interviewed said they have seen an alarming increase in their young charges cutting themselves.

Anecdotally, it seems more common among girls, and they are getting younger.

Just last month, The Straits Times reported that a group of 12-year-olds in an all-girls primary school made a collective pact and slashed their arms with penknives. The incident came to light after teachers discovered the scars the next morning. The girls were counselled and are being monitored.

Said Dr Carol Balhetchet, Singapore Children's Society director of youth services: 'It is okay for kids to follow a fashion. That is very normal. What is worrying is if they start blindly following the other things like cutting themselves and writing poems glorifying their suicide attempts.'

Eight of 12 teens The Straits Times spoke to, who follow emo fashion, admitted as much.

One, an 18-year-old girl from a junior college, said she started cutting herself out of curiosity after listening to songs by an emo rock band.

She said she now does it weekly, but hides the scars from her doctor father and accountant mum.

Another emo teen, an 18-year-old polytechnic boy, said it is part of the fashion.

'It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release,' he said.

What is surprising is that most of these angst-filled teens come from stable homes, where their parents are professionals.

When pressed, they admitted there were no issues that were really depressing.

Parents seem clueless. One, Mrs Daisy Lim, 48, a businesswoman, said she had heard her daughter using the word 'emo' but never realised it was a teen fad.

Her 16-year-old daughter wears under-sized, worn-out tees over tight black jeans. On weekends, the Secondary 4 girl also wears two lip rings and six earrings on one ear alone.

Mrs Lim recently discovered that her daughter cuts her wrists with a razor. She is trying to get her to seek help.

But counsellors say parents should not overreact.

Said Dr Balhetchet: 'They should talk to the kids to find out the extent of it.

'If the child has taken the fad to the extent of harming himself, they should not panic and scream at the child. They should be open to listening him out.

'Then they will find it easier to persuade him to seek counselling help.'

---

WHY TEEN CUTS HIMSELF

'It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release.'
AN 18-YEAR-OLD EMO TEEN

OK UNTIL THEY START HURTING THEMSELVES

'It is okay for kids to follow a fashion. That is very normal. What is worrying is if they start blindly following the other things like cutting themselves and writing poems glorifying their suicide attempts.'
DR CAROL BALHETCHET, Singapore Children's Society director of youth services