Look beyond yourself to achieve happiness

The spiritual leader of Tibetans believes that compassion for others is central to being happy, as Gary Hayden finds out

This is the third in a series of articles about happiness. In previous weeks I considered the views of two ancient philosophers: Epicurus and Epictetus.

Epicurus believed that the key to happiness is pleasure. Epictetus taught that we can only be happy when we learn to accept life's trials and disappointments cheerfully.

Both of these philosophies seem quite inward-looking. Does this mean that happiness is essentially a selfish pursuit? The Dalai Lama thinks not. He believes 'we cannot be truly happy without compassion'.

THE DALAI LAMA
The spiritual leader of the Tibetan people is known as the Dalai Lama. Tibetan Buddhists believe that each successive Dalai Lama is a tulku, or reincarnation of the previous one.

The present Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso (from 1935), is the 14th in a line which stretches back to the 16th century. Since 1959 he has lived in exile in Dharamsala, India, due to the Chinese invasion of Tibet.

He has travelled extensively, spreading Buddhist teachings throughout the world, and is the first Dalai Lama to have visited the West. His tireless efforts on behalf of world peace and human rights earned him the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989.

ON HAPPINESS
The Dalai Lama places an enormous value on happiness. He has even written a book on the subject: The Art Of Happiness by HH Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler.

Central to his philosophy is the idea that you cannot achieve true happiness if you are self-absorbed. Personal fulfilment comes only when you look beyond yourself and develop a compassionate attitude towards others.

There are two types of compassion. One is based on emotional attachment, and extends only to family, friends and suchlike. The other is not based on attachment, and has a much broader scope. It extends to all humankind.

The Dalai Lama illustrates this second type of compassion by an example. Imagine you see a fish writhing with a hook in its mouth. You may experience a feeling of not being able to bear its pain. The compassion you feel is not based on any special bond of friendship with the animal, but simply on your identification with its suffering.

In the same way, you can feel compassion for other people whether or not you are emotionally attached to them. 'Genuine compassion is based on the rationale that all human beings have an innate desire to be happy and overcome suffering, just like myself,' said the Dalai Lama.

According to the Dalai Lama, this all-encompassing compassion is an important component of personal happiness and fulfilment.

But if you learn to identify with the pain that others feel, isn't there a danger that you will be overwhelmed by their suffering?

The Dalai Lama thinks not. He points to a qualitative difference between your own suffering and the suffering you feel on someone else's behalf. Your own suffering seems to crush and overwhelm you. But compassionate suffering has a very different effect. It brings about feelings of alertness, commitment and determination.

Research has shown that when people do regular volunteer work they tend to live longer and suffer less from stress-related illness. They also report feelings of calm, increased energy and improved self-esteem. Compassionate acts make their lives happier and more fulfilled.

LEARNING COMPASSION
How do you develop your capacity for compassion? Buddhists employ a number of techniques, such as the sequence of meditations known as the 'seven-point cause-and-effect' method where concepts like recalling the kindness of others and repaying kindness that is experienced is taught.

But for Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike, the Dalai Lama recommends a simple, brief meditation on compassion.

You begin by visualising someone who is suffering in some way. You reflect on their suffering for a few minutes, and allow natural feelings of compassion to arise. Then you focus your mind on how you can help to alleviate that suffering.

On a practical note, you can get involved in voluntary work. The National Volunteer & Philanthropy Centre website at www.nvpc.org.sg can help you match your talents and interests to the needs of a whole host of worthwhile charities and organisations.

'Happiness never decreases by being shared,' said Buddha.